“Top 10 Relationship Fails” – Tinder, talking too much & taking the P**S.

London Weather means that Universal Levels are using our hats. In light of this, we pull out a topic for our Saturday S**T List from a Champagne Bucket. Today we bring you a subject a little less controversial than the last weeks article.


This week our Saturday S**T List is: ‘Top Ten New Relationship Fails’

  1. Before you have even started dating you have already planned your future. You dream of kids, marriage, matching Range Rovers and much more. Universal Levels believe that Dating is very difficult these days. Do you download an app? Do you become a P**Shead and go out every weekend in hope to meet someone? Do you date only in your inner circle only to find out your friend has done the deed with your Mrs? Whatever status your relationship is at, we advise you not to plan an illusion. Set realistic goals and achievable time frames that you can both adhere to. Most of all you have to be on the same page.
  2. You tell everyone and anyone about your new love. Are they your ‘Little Cutie’ or ‘Superman‘? Whatever ‘title’ you have for each other keep it to yourselves. Why does everyone need to know? We feel that telling people about the intimacy of your relationship is a fail. Do those people you tell have your best interest at heart or will their negativity hinder your relationship? It may create extra challenges before you need to face them. We advise you tell someone or people you trust about your new beau. This is a safety reason mainly, however if they are positive then this will extend into your relationship.
  3. Lack of communication is another fail. How do you communicate? Text messages are the worst fail when it comes to explanations or conversations of depth. When you converse over the phone it is also very easy to misinterpret your new partner. We say the best communication is in person, and if that is not possible then be clear and concise with what you have to say. Do not engage in any serious topics over text, you are 80% likely to end a relationship this way. We want to include listening skills to this point. You have to listen to your lover as that is how you will get to know them. What makes them smile, what makes them tick, and how you can add value to their life.
  4. No common interest. Every weekend he smokes weed and visits 420 events whilst you visit your ponies. She is a Babestation girl and you come from a strict Catholic Background. We have seen opposites attract, yet usually the best relationships are those with a real common interest. Hobbies and past times have to be of interest to both people. Your goals in life have to be on a similar par. Are you are striving for a mansion and retirement at 45 yet your new lover wants to live in Thailand by 45? Are your goals realistic? Have you taken into account that one day can change everything? Basically Universal Levels advise dating someone who you share the same hobbies with or you are at least interested in them.
  5. You do the deed too soon, those bed sheets are getting ruffled a little too quick. Admittedly we know about passion and desire, oh and that old chestnut “we are adults”. Yet it seems that in our experience when bedding the other too soon it has led to issues. Sometimes the other person becomes possessive or uses sex as a tool. Sometimes it makes you less interested or clouded with the person because your urges have taken over. To be blunt, hold off from bedroom activities until you know the each other. Know what both people are bringing to the table and what they want from you. After all “we are adults” and you should be able to discuss these things. Once you have done the deed, no matter how short or long the wait, we ask you “Was it worth it?”. Universal Levels believes that in some relationships this connection will improve over time. However we have seen many relationships fail. Let’s take this sudden fad of Bum Play not everyone does it. So if you do not like that yet your partner wants to, stick to your guns and say No. If he/she cannot respect your sexual decisions then they are not right for you.
  6. Catching an STD or STI. Need we say anymore? Google search ‘Sexual Health Statistics. We advise to be safe otherwise this unwanted health problem could occur. Not only does it add strain on relationships but draws issue to trust. We recommend visiting the sexual health clinic after every different sexual partner. We also suggest that if your gut instinct believes ‘The Cat is playing away’ then check yourself; even a long term relationship poses sexual health risks. No matter how safe you think you have been safe, the safest way is to check.
  7. Halloween will be a perfect celebration for new relationships. The skeletons will be able to breathe out of the closet. This fail we are discussing is secrets and lies. The simple truth is: Do not have any. Be honest with your concerns and don’t hold any deep secrets that could effect your relationship. If a past situation can come to bite you on the butt then it is one to consider discussing. How many times has a man said he has no kids? Or a person has only slept with 2 people? To be honest once you hit a certain age it is inevitable that people have a past. It is honesty that changes the outcome. If you are healthy and have no addictions would you openly date a drug addict? So if your partner tells you at the start that he/she is clean like you are then you should believe it. Keep 90% faith and 10% doubt. This 10% is there in case three months into the relationship you find out a lie or secret. While you have been drinking protein shakes, your partner has been getting withdrawal shakes; they are addicted to Class A Drugs. Your gut instinct should hopefully rule out a lot of the bull.
  8. Social media analytical research, basically snooping the net. Some of us should work for the MI5 as a spy. Everything can be found nowadays; do not think you are off the radar because you don’t conform to society. Our whereabouts and personal data is out there. If you are efficient in your search you can obtain most information. We do not say not to do it. In some of our experiences we have been able to see a cheat/rat from their FB page. You are on POF or Tinder and yet your Facebook and Instagram is dedicated to your partner. Unless you are in an open relationship you will get caught, and we feel if your partner keeps you after that then Buck up your ideas.
  9. You are meeting your beaus friends for the first time. Do you have each other’s back? Does your partner respect you in their comfortable social circles? An example of when one of our team started dating a guy. Within a few days she was told to meet his friends. This was his thing, he liked socialising his GFs with everyone (relationship fail point 2). When they visited the friends house, everything seemed to be going well. However when discussions started to arise, the relationship begun to fail. If she spoke of something that he did not know about, he became defensive. In the end he embarassed her with a barrage of dominance. Rather than listen and be proud of her, he sat and made her look like a fool. These two are not together because of this. Our Universal Levels rule is to treat your partner with kindness in these environments. It is new to them and they may be anxious. Treat them like Kings and Queens, after all if you mug off your partner in public then you are opening the door for other people to disrespect them.
  10. Lastly, a fail is that you compare them to your ex. Never ever do this. The reason you are not with your ex is because it did not work. Leave all past relationships alone. Do not revisit these feelings, after all they are ex’s for a reason. Thinking of this previous relationship will only disrupt your new one. Be aware of what you did not accept in the past. If your partner does something that you do not condone, discuss it and talk to them. Do not write them off completely, they are not your ex and over time this issue may be resolved. Your lover needs to learn about what has hurt you in the past; and try not to do the same or at least resolve the mistake if it did occur.


Universal Levels want to thank you for reading our S**T list. We wish you all the best for your current relationship. If you are searching we hope you find your soulmate. Be good to yourself and others will be good to you. 



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